The One Liners #161

With all the bad news today,
at least the boating industry is staying afloat.

OJ’s lawyers complained that the Jury held their client’s past against him, saying,
“They just couldn’t see beyond his acting career.”

During the Senator Ted Stevens trial, a lawyer is being accused of making secret signals to his client. Photographs clearly show the lawyer calling him out at second.

President Bush has asked for a bail out since he’s overspent his political clout.

I called the radio station and they said that I had won a trip to San Francisco.
I told them that I was already in San Francisco.
They said, “You’re welcome!”

There’s only one program that could ever preempt “The Tonight Show”.
One called, “The Not Tonight Show”.

One of the toughest job interview questions is, “What is your greatest weakness?”
I always tell them that I can’t see through lead.

Kenny G plays the violin on his new album, “G-Strings”

A barge was damaged today, spilling thousands of gallons of Ivory Liquid into the bay.
Hundreds of miles of shoreline have been washed squeaky clean and people can actually see themselves in the shells.
Scientists say that it may take hundreds of years for the beaches to return to normal.

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