The One Liners #208

I understand that my book has really caught fire,
especially with the rise in the cost of heating oil.

Times are so tough that I’ve considered moving back in with my parents,
however, that cemetery is already full.

Samsung has been hit with a patent lawsuit.
Apparently, the Son of Sam claims that he’s already got that name.

If Citibank is split apart, it will be the tail of two Citi’s.”

When the judge asked me how I pleaded,
I got down on my knees and whined.

NPR program host, Dr Frederick K Goodman has been accused of having ties to drug companies. He denied the charges, saying that he has nothing to do with The Dr Frederick K Goodman Drug Company. He doesn’t know how this rumor got started.

Verizon fired the employee who breached Obama’s phone records.
Apparently, it was that “Can you hear me?” guy who follows everyone around.

I pulled up beside a bum, who was standing beside a traffic light today and asked,
“How’s business?”
He said, “Pretty good until you pulled up.”

When asked if they were doing anything special for Thanksgiving, President Bush said,
“Yes, we’re having the Ambassador of Turkey over, along with the Bishop of Cranberry.”

Celebrate slow, Advice from Joe