The One Liners

Last year I was watching "Dancing with the Stars" and saw that Heather Mills performing despite her disability. Boy, I sure am glad they didn't have those medical advances back in the sixties or Richard Kimble would have never found that guy!

I saw the doctor yesterday and he put me on Niacin. He warned me that taking Niacin would cause flushing. I said, "Doc, I already flush after every use... and I also put the seat down when I'm done."

Watching TV, have you ever noticed that on "House", he's the one taking the prescriptions? ("Take two and call myself in the morning")

Regarding popular lawn tractors, one of their mottos is: "Nothing runs like a Deere".... however, what do you see lying dead along the road all the time?

For individuals who are dating a policeman:
* When he comes over, don’t be surprised if he surrounds the place.
* Make sure that you take your license out of your wallet before handing it to him.
* Don't be surprised if tells you to watch your head as he lets you into the back seat.
* Act normal if he talks through a loud speaker and says things like, "Pull to the right."
* Know that you've satisfied him if he says something like, "That's a big ten-four."

Take it slow, advice from Joe