The One Liners

To solve the sex scandal problem, the Pope suggested that Priests go back to using the only method of sexual release available to them… however now he’s worried that they’ll all go blind.

There were more accusations that Iraq has a puppet government after President Bush replaced the Prime Minister with Lamb chops.

In an effort to decrease Gang activity, police arrested Alfalfa and Froggy today. Spanky is still at large and is rumored to be dressed in black and white.

In the Fall, they told me to set my clock back... but now it's too far away from the bed to see it. They never tell you exactly how far to set it back. Next year, I'm going to leave it in the house.

I’m a vegetarian; so today I'm having air burgers and a bowl of heated water. It's a tasty meal, but it goes right through me.

One Tuesday, my wife reminded me that we have to go vote after work. I'm glad she cleared that up before I made a fool out of myself. I thought it was Erection Day. I had no idea how I was going to keep it up until the polls closed.

Britney Spears announced that she's changing her name to BSPE. She said,
"Hey, if KFED can do it, then BSPE can do it!"

Update your maps. Sudan announced today that they are changing their name to, Coupe.

Take it slow in that Sudan