The One Liners

In order to boost the moral of America, officials have changed the name of Badminton to Goodminton.

The little kid from The Dick Van Dyke Show was arrested today. Viewers remember him as Rob’s adorable son, whatshisname. Officials claim that he was not actually related to Van Dyke, so they filed unrelated charges against him.

There have been trends with SUV accidents:
* Dodge Rams - Front-end collisions.
* Chevy Blazers - Fires.
* Honda Odyssey – Very strange accidents.

Legendary Charley the Tuna was captured by foreign fisherman who sold him back to a US tuna label. Said officials, “We’ve tried to keep him out of the food supply for years!”

My wife says that I don’t listen to her.
At least, I think that’s what she says.

I converted my house to solar power. I took off the roof.

Once, they asked Sir Edmond Hillary, “Have you ever climbed Whitney?”
He said, “No, but I’ve listened to her music.”

They said that we might have some brown outs this summer.
Man, we’re going back to the Dark Ages.

My doctor asked me if I exercised.
I told him that I recycled.

I finally found an optometrist that I can afford. Of course, he’s blind.

See it slow, Advice from Joe