The One Liners #114

A pest exterminator was found alive after spending four days lost in the Australian outback. He survived by eating bugs and insects.
Today, doctors found him to be infected with termites.

A cop pulled me over and said that I was going 200 mph.
I said, “That’s impossible! The guy in front of me was only going 180.”

I have a question about the San Diego Padres:
Is Bud Black their manager, or their sponsor?

A new Internet Search Engine is being released in Israel today.
It will be called, “NetanYahu”

This week, Hugh Laurie does a guest shot on “This Old House”.

The world’s oldest joke has been traced back to the Sumerians in 1900 BC.
Only a portion of the joke was found etched into a stone tablet, which said,
“These two Sumerians come walking into a bar, see…”

Obama claimed that his opponent’s roots could be traced back to the first man.
“He was one of Adam’s sons: McCain and Able.”

The Mars Phoenix Lander has found and tasted water on the red planet.
“It tastes just like chicken,” the Lander reported.
Scientists were elated at the news that chickens once roamed the Martian surface.

Taste it slow, Advice from Joe