The One Liners #124

I know a lady who went to the doctor to get a floozy shot.

My optometrist says that I’m not a good candidate for Laser Eye Surgery.
Apparently, you need to have money.

I’ve decided to walk out on my wife,
unless she brings the car back before I leave.

I’m a religious person.
I have Blue Cross.

In a surprise move, government officials asked strip miners to put their clothes back on.

How come all the dinosaurs in the western hemisphere died off shore?

Countering claims that he’s not experienced enough to be president,
Obama cut taxes and declared war today.

Defending his age, John McCain stated that if he hadn’t been a POW for five years,
he’d only be 68 years old today.

Reports confirm that the new Iraqi army should be strong enough to overthrow their own government in three years.

President Bush has done such a good job spreading democracy that our next president will be a democrat.

Spread it slow, Advice from Joe