The One Liners #201

If “The Big Three” get bailed out, the Studebaker brothers will roll over in their graves.

A new “Madden” computer game is being introduced that includes his likeness, his bus and things that go “Boom”.

Sun Microsystems announced job cuts today. As not to interfere with daily service,
Sun will make the cuts at night.

My book sales have dropped off so much that I may have to keep my day job…
and my night job.

Embarrassed scientists admitted today that the new planet discovered by the Hubble telescope is actually a spec of dust on the lenses.
Doubts are now being raised regarding the 521 other planets discovered during the last week.

Russian President Medvedev announced that his country now recognizes South Ossetia and Abkhazia. His next goal is to learn how to pronounce them.

When pitcher CC Sabathia was asked if he’d accept the latest offer for his services, he said, “I don’t know know, we’ll see see.”

I like to stay in shape.
“Round” is a shape, isn’t it?

When I go out to dinner, I always give the waiter a tip.
I tell him to stay out of traffic.

Tip him slow, Advice from Joe