The One Liners #227

When I got laid off, the company was very accommodating to me.
They had HR carry me out of the building.

One of my coworkers talks so much, he was named Employee of the Mouth.

Upon hearing the Governor of Illinois say that he didn’t believe he was breaking the law,
OJ said, “What a bunch of bullshit”.

My friend won’t walk out on his wife.
He has a bad leg.

Mark Spitz almost swam out on his wife.

To help Obama sleep through the night,
Hillary will take those 3AM phone calls.

Thank goodness “The Archies” don’t sing today’s type of music or they’d be bubblegum rappers.

The Phone Company announced job cuts for 12,000 operators, nationwide.
Calls to the Phone Company for more information are not being answered.

Robbers in drag walked away with millions of dollars in jewelry stuffed into their clothing during a Paris theft.
Said employees, “We thought it was strange that those young ladies had matured during their visit.”

Frisk them slow, Advice from Joe