The One Liners #244

This year at midnight, I’m going outside before I shoot my gun in the air.

Life is so strange. You start out nursing and you end up in a nursing home.

A transplant surgeon who was doing a brain transplant on himself,
apparently forgot what he was doing in the middle of the procedure.

Last night, there was an accident at the bowling alley, blocking all lanes.

As a life long fan, I’ve been following Kenny G since he was Kenny A.

Due to the lack of wind, boat sails are down.

To help out my act, one night I planted a laughing hyena in the audience.
He especially loved the one where these two hyenas come walking into a bar, see…

After giving birth to her 18th child, an Arkansas woman said, “And they never call”.

California wants to build a bullet train,
but they don’t know where to shoot it.

My father said, “Your Mother. Now, there was a woman.”
I said, “Dad, she’s still alive.”
He said, “I stand corrected. There is a woman.”

I asked my wife if there was another man.
She said, “Before or after you?”

Never ask slow, Advice from Joe