The One Liners #248

The employee drug test has a trick question. They ask,
How many joints are over the legal limit in a business office? 1, 2 or 3?
I think the answer is obvious, but they think the correct answer is 1.

My coach in school would make us do ten pushups if we said “Yeah” instead of “Yes”.
Did I ever have to do ten pushups?
Yeah.

With the invention of non-dairy creamer,
I take my coffee black.

The Iraqi Parliament accepted the resignation of the Parliament Speaker saying,
“Will you just stop speaking!”

In an effort to make their software feel like a part of your family, Microsoft is renaming Vista to Sista.

The FDA has warned against following the Butcher’s Diet.

The Washington Post and the Baltimore Sun have agreed to start sharing certain stories, like “Redskins beat Ravens” and “Orioles defeat Nationals”.

Jenny Craig announced that looses in the fourth quarter could exceed 100 pounds.

If the US will normalize relations with Cuba, Raul has promised to buy a new car.

Buy it slow, Advice from Joe