Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The One Liners (Bless Derek Taylor Shayne)

Do you remember that old TV show, “My Three Sons”?
The boys must have asked their Father these questions at some time in their lives:
* What ever happened to our older brother, Mike?
* Did you kill mom?
* Why does Bub keep showing up on reruns of Lucy?
* Dad, why do your balls bounce higher than all the others?
* How come Uncle Charley is as pissed off as Bub always was?
* Hey Dad! Can the little kid down the street become my brother?

I can relate to young people. Quite often, the youth of America will approach me and ask, “Hey Mister, can you buy me a 6-pack?”

Have you heard the latest song by Pavarotti? It goes like this:

Bucket!
The Bucket!
I have kicked The Bucket!

Little known facts about Pavarotti:
* He always called Beverly Sills... "Jugs"
* He starred in the Italian version of "The Honeymooners".
* He didn't take up singing until he was 300 pounds.
* His inspiration was Jim Nabors.
* In his early years, he finished every song by singing, "Shave and a haircut, two bits"

Widely known facts about Pavarotti:
* His nickname was “Big Pav”.
* His wife was known to say, "Not tonight. I don't have a floor jack."
* He also recorded his latest song in Spanish:

Bucket-o
El Bucket-o
Yo ho El Bucket-o

Final note: He was the lead singer for “Gary Bucket and the Union Gap”

Take it slow, Advice from Joe

2 comments:

Desert Son said...

I love your Pavorattii bit, as I told DTS several months ago when i first saw it!


True story, I once saw him in the street in NY , and not knowing my way around I asked directions.

"He said, "Sorry, I'm not from this Aria!!!"

Than I asked him, "How do I get to Carnegie Hall?", he couldn't resist that old joke, " You take the D train to Times Square and take the bus to West 49th Street and Seventh Avenue!"--Oh, how we both laughed!!

Then he said, "Lets go to the Carnegie Deli instead, where he both bought and ate my lunch!
Yes, he was a big man, bi and large!!

Anonymous said...

Shayne aint nothin without that injun kid who makes him look good!

And AJD is the funniest man in CALIFORNIA!

Big kiss! :)