The One Liners

Congratulations to Danica Patrick on her first Indy Car win. She credits the victory on her new bumper sticker that says, “Ladies First.”

Now, Hillary’s considering getting one.

We decided to name our new cat, Betty. Nobody else in the neighborhood is named Betty, so she should be the only one who comes when I call.

Sometimes elected officials find themselves facing charges of Incompetence.
Now they're finding out that some of the older Chief Justices face charges of Incontinence.

I just heard that Tiger Woods became a Father when his wife had a kitten.
He was so happy, he started to purr.

I also heard that Cat Stevens was hospitalized with a fur ball. X-rays confirmed that he had actually swallowed Tiger Woods’ kid. The story was originally overlooked because Stevens uses his Muslim name, Makdoiehuahighuehdk Soeojereisloeuoi, or Catface for short.

(PS: My spellchecker had a great time with Cat's Muslim name)

Does anybody know if Cat and Tiger are micro chipped?

Take it slow, advice from Joe