The One Liners

Since leaving as his legal console, President Bush was asked how Harriet was doing.
“She’s living quietly with Ozzie and the two boys.”

If she doesn’t get the nomination, Hillary was asked if she would stay in politics?
“Oh yes. Remember, I’m the Senator from… from… aaaa…”

In an attempt to reduce the crime rate in Iraq, President Bush announced that he is sending Crime Dog over there.
When it was pointed out that Crime Dog was a fictional character, The Bushster asked, “You mean, like Smokey the Beaver?”

I took out a long-term loan today.
Unfortunately, the loan company doesn’t realize that it’s a long-term loan yet.

Sylvester Stallon announced his next movie, “Rocky vs. Rambo”. The actor will play both characters in this epic battle. Said Stallon, “We save a lot of money on blood that way.”

I had dinner on the road again last night. Next time, I’m bringing a blanket to sit on.

Scientists have discovered a way to harness all of the natural disasters and have them happen in the same place. So far, no country or city has volunteered to be the recipient, using the excuse, “Not in my back yard.”

Barry Bonds has questioned Baseball as to why no team has signed him this year.
Bonds, who is now eight feet tall and five hundred pounds, insists that he’s never used steroids.

I got one of those new “hands-free” cell phones today. I haven’t read the instructions yet, but it’s really cool how you can drive without using your hands.

So, what’s so unusual about having a woman as the speaker of the house?