The One Liners #54

So many people are mad about the Vista operating system that Microsoft is releasing a new version called Pista.

I can always tell when my wife wants to fight if I come home and find ring ropes set up in the living room.

I go to an honest barber. I asked him to cut off all of my gray hair.
He said, “Hey, we’re only open till five.”

I’ve got one of those new cars with a “back up” camera.
Now I don’t have to get out to see how badly I damaged the other car anymore.

Rather than withhold arms shipments to Saudi Arabia,
We’re simply going to raise the weapon prices every week.

How come healthy people don’t feel ‘over the weather’?

With proper upbringing, would he have been known as William the Adolescent?

My boss gave me a raise. He moved my desk up on the roof.

“I read the news today, oh boy!”
Wasn’t that forty years ago?

Reported here several weeks ago, the Park Service replaced a popular national symbol with Smokey the Beaver. So far, it’s been a public relations disaster. During school assemblies, he keeps scaring the children with his language.
“Dam this! Dam that! Dam everything!”

Dam it slow, Advice from Joe