The One Liners #59

During my off-road mountain bike ride today, “I caught air” and “I was styling”.
In layman’s terms, I ripped my pants.

They asked legendary Martin Milner if there was a better police unit than Adam 12?
He said, “Yes, Adam 13.”
He was quick to add that Adam 12 was much better than Adam 11.

Do you know how to get people to stop honking at you?
Put on a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you’re driving the speed limit”

If the stock market drops any more, I’ll have a 301K.

Legendary Clutch Cargo died today.
“Clutch just wore out,” said his mechanic. “He had been grinding his gears for several weeks before the end.”
Cargo, known for only moving his mouth, had parted ways with his only friends, Spinner and Paddlefoot when they chose to go with automatic transmissions.

If you get a rash, and the rash goes away, are you ‘irrational’?

News out of Apple today that there will be a drastic reduction in Jobs.
“Steve is going to loose some weight,” said his mother.

The military dictatorship of Myanmar was criticized today for allowing the cyclone to enter the country in the first place.

Take it slow, Advice from Joe