The One Liners #60

Sportscasters all agree that Kobe is the best basketball player with hair.

While he claims that he was subjected to water boarding, the main 911 conspirator admits that his hair is much more manageable now.

Ben Bernanke told reporters that the economy was not doing as badly as expected.
He had to cut the meeting short as he was going in to have his head examined.

My wife thought that I had a job with Microsoft until I got my medications changed.

New Delhi closed its doors today after heavy competition from the Subway place that opened across the street.
A similar thing happened to Vienna after a nearby Wienerschnitzel opened.

The government is trying to pressure Saudi Arabia into low lowering oil prices by withholding ice shipments from Alaska.
Meanwhile, the King urged fellow Saudis to reduce their dependence of foreign ice.

I got my Economic Stimulus check.
You know, that President Bush ain’t so bad, after all.

I filled up my car this morning.
You know, that President Bush is the worst….

My wife can’t remember people’s names.
We were in bed last night and she started saying, “Oh Fred, oh Fred.”
I said, “But, I’m Oh Joe.”

Remember it slow, My name is Joe