Legendary Jerry Van Dyke has been signed to do a new TV series. In this one, his mother is melted down and made into a counter top at a local tavern. The new show is called, “My Mother The Bar.”
Legendary Ringo Starr was accused today of being notorious gunslinger, Johnny Ringo.
Starr denied all charges, admitting that he’s used the names, Johnny Yuma and Nick Adams before, but never Johnny Ringo.
“What a dumb name,” commented the former Beatle.
Turmoil in Heaven today as Tim Russert arrived and started asking the tough questions.
I said to my wife, “Have you ever been untrue to me?”
She asked, “Before or after I answer that question?”
So far, the only product that isn’t being affected by the high price of gas is 20 Mule Team Borax.
Officials say that Bin Laden has disguised himself as an American. Patrols are being asked to search for a clean-shaven man wearing a business suit, living in a cave.
Embarrassed officials announced that the atomic clock has been running fast for the last decade. At midnight, a slight adjustment will be made to correct the problem, at which point everybody is being asked to reset their clocks back to 1997.
Legendary Tennessee Tuxedo announced that he is changing his name to North Carolina.
Said long time friend, Chumley, “But, but, Tennessee… I mean, North Carolina!”
Change it slow, Advice from Joe
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--Officials say that Bin Laden has disguised himself as an American. Patrols are being asked to search for a clean-shaven man wearing a business suit, living in a cave.
Got me good!
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