The One Liners #69

Legendary Ed O’Neill returns to television as he reprises his role of Al Bundy in a new show called, “Divorced with Child Support Payments”.

Israel explained that they are not actually building new settlements in the West Bank.
“We’re building new Banks over there,” claimed officials as they filled out deposit slips.

If the phone rings and I can tell that it’s somebody that I don’t want to talk to, I immediately make that funny sound and pretend that I’m a fax machine.
This works fine, as long as they don’t hit the Send button.

Can you come out of the closet if you live in a bedroom community?

When they asked me what I thought about The Great Lakes,
I said they were great.

Legendary rapper Ice Cube urged the government to solve global warming before he melts.

All of the gas stations are doing their part to stop inflation.
Now, they’re charging for air.

When I take my clothes off, my wife says that I look just like that guy in the movie:
The Incredible Joke.

Today, Iraqi leaders suggested that they might change the name of their country to Viet Nam.
U.S. officials quickly rejected the idea, saying, “We don’t want Iraq to become another Viet Nam.”

Take it slow, Advice from Joe