The One Liners #70

OJ’s decade long search for The Murderer has finally produced a suspect.
“Bin Laden,” announced The Juice, while holding up a bloody audiotape.
The Goldman’s immediately sued Bin Laden.

If the economy gets any worse, the government may have to raise taxes to pay for the tax cuts.

In Kenya today, the annual Beer Drinking Contest was held.
As usual, an American was the winner.

A North Carolina woman gave birth to the largest twins ever born.
When asked about the delivery, the mother said, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

To cut costs, the airlines have announced that they will now offer round trip flights.Previously, airlines had their planes, trucked back to their point of origin.

To boost slacking sales, GM wants to change the image of the Hummer into a work truck.
In an effort to associate it with ‘work’, they are changing its name to the Humm Job.

Prince William was made a Knight today. To celebrate, he stayed out all night.
The Knight uniform should come in handy as William is currently playing the role of the Tin Man in “The Wizard of Oz”.

The EU issued stronger sanctions against Iran today, by typing the sanctions in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.

Issue them slow, Advice from JOE