The One Liners

Secret White House tapes were released today containing several comments made by President Bush after the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction during the Super Bowl.
· “And I thought the deficit was big!”
· “We found the weapons of mass destruction.”
· “There is no cover up!”
· “Next year I’m getting TIVO.”

In that song, “Never Can Say Goodbye”, how are they able to say it?

Signs that the refrigerator at the Office might need cleaning:
· You can smell it from home.
· Even the guys won’t open it.
· The expiration dates don’t have Y2K solutions.
· The eggs have hatched.
· The lettuce is yellow and the butter is green
· The coroner shows up.
· The puddle in front of it is white
· You can’t tell if the light is burned out because you won’t open your eyes
· The person who finally cleans it is named, “Employee of the Month”.
· The Halloween candy is scary.
· The microwave dials 911

I can still remember the song that the Beatles wrote in honor of a famous boxer: (sing along)
“Sonny Liston.
Do you want to know a secret?
Do you promise not to tell?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, closer….”

What is the litness test for a Litness Test?

John McCain rejected the notion that he would be serving George Bush’s third term.
He claimed that George Bush was actually serving his first two terms.

Take it slow, Advice from Joe