Friday, July 25, 2008

The One Liners #101

When told about the increasing number of reports of anger at the workplace,
the Secretary of Labor threw down his books and yelled at everybody.

Radio host Michael Savage admitted recently that he was a brat who hasn’t been told to cut the act out.

The handwritten lyrics to “Give Peace A Chance” were sold recently. Apparently the actual text was “All we are saying is give peace a chance” followed by a bunch of ditto marks.

When asked why there is such a fascination with “Journey to the Center of the Earth”, officials said, “Oil is cheaper down there.”

Reporters announced today the Bret Farve is definitely coming back next season.
Said reporters, “He’s coming back if we have to drag him to the stadium!”

Officials are no closer to solving the Salmonella mystery today.
Currently, investigators are being hampered by persistent stomachaches and diarrhea.

Obama announced plans to replace Crime Dog with Snoop Dog.
“Snoop knows all about crime,” said Obama as he searched for his wallet.

Condoleezza Rice issued a strong warning to Iran about their recent missile tests when she said, “Don’t shoot those things at me!”

I know a guy who sells cocaine because he can’t find another line of work.

Sell it slow, Advice from Joe

No comments: