The One Liners #106

Questions were raised about the mileage rating on the Pope Mobile.
“The Pope filled it with six fish and six loafs of bread last year and it just keeps running.”

Automakers warn that those little ‘backup cameras’ should not be used to look at girls.

Years ago, I was asked if I liked Mimi Farina.
I said, “I don’t even like Wheatina.”

After cries from religious groups, a new toned-down version of a popular movie is being released called, “Heckboy”.

With the success of the movie, “Mama Mia!” a new movie is being made about a man and his prostate called, “Papa Pia!”

How come Mickey Rooney is never in a mini series?

My wife said that I don’t plan for the future.
I said, “That’s not true. I’m planning on doing that.”

The Foo Fighters announced that they would no longer throw anything at their concerts.
“Not with the price of foo, nowadays,” said the Fighters.

I was thinking of putting a birdbath in my backyard.
I like my cat to wash up before he eats.

I bought myself a microwave.
I was tired of going down to the office every night to cook dinner.

Cook it slow, Advice from Joe