The One Liners #81

My wife and twelve of her friends have made a pregnancy pact.
Sounds like I’m going to be pretty busy for a while.

I wrecked my Enterprise Rent-a-car.
They didn’t tell me that I had to unwrap it first.

They asked me if I’d ever played soccer before?
I said, “No, she’d hit me back.”

Discussing his life plans, Robert Mugabe announced that he would only run for office, one more time.
The next election in Zimbabwe is scheduled in 2042.

When asked why he was going to China, President Bush said, “I owe them money.”

The high price of gas is affecting the recording industry.
Motown may have to move to Japan.

Legendary Paul Newman was told by his doctors today, to stop eating salad dressing, salsa, marinara sauce, Wheat Puffs, steak sauce, popcorn and lemonade.

In honor of the passing of Bozo the Clown, McDonalds is lowering Ronald’s pants to half-mast.
“Now, he’ll look like one of our customers,” said Mr. McMuffin.

Money is so much a part of politics.
Nowadays, when a candidate calls for change, he means, ‘spare change’.

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