The One Liners #85

I told my friend that I had written a book.
He said it was a novel idea.

I watched a half hour infomercial and they never explained how to cook The Dean Martin Roast.

I just realized that my grandfather was a drug dealer.
He was always saying, “Buy Crackie”.

Everybody teases Al Gore about inventing the Internet.
How come nobody ever teases John McCain for inventing the Telegraph?

The unemployment rate went up today as another on-line insurance company has eliminated the middleman.
This had been a trend since a diamond retailer also eliminated the middleman.

I never miss church any more, now that I have TIVO.

The high price of jet fuel is forcing the elimination of flights to certain destinations.
Hopefully, one of those will be Iraq.

The raid on that Texas sect took place during a sect comedian’s act. He was just saying,
“Take my wives, please.”

My dentist said, “Joe, I want to drill.”
I said, “You and President Bush.”

Drill it slow, Advice from Joe