The One Liners #90

I had a girl offer to go all the way with me last night…, which was great because she was driving.

Beef from Nebraska is being recalled. Apparently they wandered over the border into South Dakota.
Ranchers remain confident that they can recall all the beef before they wander into any other states.

How come nobody wears one of those hats at the Kentucky Derby?

Big troubles for Heinz Ketchup today as government officials have only been able to confirm the existence of 56 varieties.
“There’s one more around here somewhere,” claimed Heinz executives as they searched the boardroom.

Legondary Barry Bonds expressed disappointment at not being asked to play in the All Star Game this year.
Bonds, who now has three arms and five legs, insists that he has never used steriods

Legendary Bruce Springstein has released a follow up his first big hit. This one is called,
“Blinded By My Wife”.
Immediately, legendary Manfred Mann released his new song, “Blinded by Douche’s Wife”.

President Bush said that he would go to the Olympics in China to support our athletes.
Then he asked whom they were playing.

Support them slow, Advice from Joe