The One Liners #108

My neighbor got arrested for putting pot in brownies.
Apparently, he was giving bags of it to all those little girls.

I’m worried about my surgeon since he told me that he used to be a coroner.

When Obama was asked who his boyhood hero was, he said Lloyd Haynes.
“He was my high school teacher,” boasted Obama.
Haynes also worked in the underwear industry.

How do you stand up for what you believe in,
if you believe in sitting down?

If any more roadside bombs blow up over there, we won’t be able to tell Iraq from a hole in the ground.

The Pope went to Australia and apologized to the kangaroos, who were hopping mad.

When Obama was asked what he thought about his visit to Afghanistan, he said,
“I couldn’t believe how many flowers were growing over there!”

To help cut the budget deficit, President Bush eliminated The Government Mule today.
Dick Cheney was seen, leading it out into the woods.

When you use a men’s room in the Soviet Union,
does the urinal or toilet say, “Russian Standard”?

Flush it slow, Advice from Joe