The One Liners #118

The weatherman said that it was going to snow, so I wore my snowshoes.
It rained.
The next day, he said that it was going to rain, so I wore my raincoat.
It snowed.
The third day, he said that it was going to rain and snow, so I decided to wear shorts.
How did I know that he’d pick the third day to be right?

Legendary Lassie traveled to Pakistan today, to be the first K9 to climb K2.
Upon reaching the summit, sure enough, Timmy had fallen into a well.

Each week, they have a Farmer’s Market down town.
I look at all those people walking around down there, and I bet they’re not all farmers.

My wife said that she wanted to join N.O.W.
I asked, “When?”

In an effort to attract younger customers, the clothier is changing its name to:
“Freddie’s of Hollywood”

To encourage politicians to be bi-partisan,
the senate is introducing a “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

My aunt said that she wanted to get a face-lift.
I said, “That ain’t what needs to be lifted.”

I don’t mind paying for my baggage on an airplane.
Just as long as it doesn’t travel, first class.

Pay it slow, Advice from Joe