The One Liners #119

To promote the sale of Windows Vista, Microsoft is changing the product name to:
“Windows XP – Service Pack 4”

To win their support, the candidates are praising the swing voters.
“They’re great dancers!”

Legendary Lionel Ritchie is considering reuniting with The Commodores.
Lionel is currently working in the toy train industry.

I like to watch the driver’s reaction when I get into a taxi and say,
“Follow that car!”
The only downside is if that car isn’t going where I’m going.

Radio host Michael Savage suggested that people with Lazy Eye,
put a little more effort into it.

Doctors offered advice for how to avoid the proverbial Busted Ass.
“Don’t work so hard.”

In an official ceremony, legendary Trini Lopez was presented with his own hammer.
“He was always telling us what he’d do if he had one,” said his agent.
Trini is now working on getting his own bell.

How come every episode of “Mission Impossible” finished successfully?

Legendary Simply Red is sporting a new hairstyle nowadays, however he will not be changing his name to Simply Dread.

Change it slow, Advice from Joe