The One Liners #128

The Fed is considering pressing charges against the wife of Barry Bonds’ trainer.
They became suspicious after she hit seventy homeruns for the girls softball league this year.

I’m wearing one of those patches that helps you give a damn.
It works.
Now, all I think about is that damn patch.

Tiger Woods announced that he might attend The Ryder Cup while saying,
“I’ve got to rent a truck that weekend, anyway.”

Officials have questioned US Drug advertisements, especially the one where the guy says,
“I’m not a real doctor. I just play one on TV…”

I drove up I-5 and noticed that several Rest Stops were closed due to budget cutbacks.
No wonder drivers are pissed about the economy.

It's nice to see gas prices going down.
Soon, they’ll only be two dollars higher than last year.

A trim looking Tony Orlando revealed how he knew that he had to loose weight.
“I crushed Dawn.”

Sarah Palin claims that she’s a maverick.
Actually, she does look like a young James Garner.

Legendary Rick Barry complained that he was passed over, once again for the vice presidency.

Take it slow, Advice from Joe