The One Liners #146

After Hurricane Ike, Houston is renaming their sports complex, UnReliant Stadium.

I got a text message from the driver behind me, who said,
“My horn doesn’t work. Honk! Honk!”

I turned down an acting role in that show, “Two and a Half Men”.
I mean, what was I going to do with my other half?

I never watched that old TV show, “Twelve O’clock High”.
I wasn’t allowed to stay up that late.

My cat got a fifty-dollar fine for Kitty Littering.

I got my dog fixed and now he doesn’t work.

I hope that they don’t have to bail out the boating industry.

We need somebody who can work with both parties.
Can we elect the White House Chef?

Trouble for the poultry industry as questions have been raised about
Colonel Sander’s military career

After the Fed bailed out AIG Insurance Company,
AIG cancelled their policy.

Bail it slow, Advice from Joe