The One Liners #164

Credit is so tight that my college is no longer accredited.

A judge ruled that OJ may not keep any of the personal belongings that he was trying to retrieve in Las Vegas.
This is a setback for the Juice, as one of the belongings was a “Get out of jail, free” card.

Due to its advanced age, the Navy may change the name of the WWII vessel,
The Intrepid to The Decrepit.

The economy is affecting legendary Babyface, as he may loose his crib.

If General Motors has any more financial problems,
THEY may have to call On-star.

Martti Ahtisaani expressed disappointment at winning The Nobel Prize.
He had his heart set on The Cy Young award.

My wife keeps buying new wheel covers for her car.
I finally had to put a hub cap on her spending.

When they taught me how to use a urinal,
were those, words of whizzdom?

The doctor said that I had a lot of guts.
Then, he told me to loose some weight.

I’m not one of those guys who go to the store and forgets what he went there for.
I can’t remember to go to the store in the first place.

Forget it slow, Advice from Whats His Name.