The One Liners #175

As I get older, I just leave my emergency flashers running all the time.
That way, nobody knows which directional signal that I left on.

You’d think that a vacuum cleaner would only be useful in outer space.

I couldn’t play with an erector set when I was a kid.
I had erector dysfunction.

CBS is going to make a program about a reporter who finds interesting stories while driving a Winnebago around the country that’s south of Iraq. The new program will be called, “On The Road With Charles Kuwait”

I’ll say one thing for racehorses:
They leave it all out on the field.

Basketball player, Monta Ellis was injured in a Moped accident and was fined three million dollars by the team. Mr Ellis said, “Thank goodness this Moped gets a hundred miles per gallon”

More bad economic news today. I looked at my book sales,
and fell into depression.

Doctors and weatherman have warned about a hard freeze
that could last longer than four hours.

The only rap against Snoop Dogg is his singing.

Rap it slow, Advice from Joe