The One Liners #181

I’m an innovator.
Back when I did standup comedy, the crowd was yelling, “Dyson sucks!”,
years before the vacuum cleaner was invented.

I believe in deregulation.
I stopped taking my Metamucil.

Cowboys troubled receiver, Adam Jones admitted that he might have a drinking problem,
when he couldn’t remember where he parked his nickname.

Sarah Palin as been asked to stop talking down to the Lower 48.

Why didn’t The Birdman of Alcatraz, simply fly away?

Don’t waste words:
If you don’t wear underwear, just say, “I don’t wear under”

Legendary actor Rip Torn received stitches at the hospital today,
essentially ending his career.

My wife said that she’d always be true,
but she might have been lying.

My dog’s favorite TV show is “Bones”

I took my wife out to a high priced place last night.
We went to the gas station.

Order slow, Advice from Joe