The One Liners #187

They would have saved a lot of money if they had filmed, “The Day the Earth Stood Still” and “Stop the World, I Want to Get Off” on the same day.

My cardiologist told me to take Nitroglycerin if I get chest pain.
Blowing myself up seems like overkill to me.

As my dog got older, he did less and less tricks,
however, he never got too old to play dead.

There’s a service station down the street that sells Ethanol.
It’s going for $3.85 an Ear.

Martin Milner is going to star as a retired policeman who returns to the force.
The new show will be called, “Adam After 65”

I found out that the movie, “First Blood”
wasn’t about Rambo’s first shaving experience.

Apparently, I misunderstood my publisher.
It turns out that they’re selling my book in the Amazon.

The doctor wants me to eat egg whites from now on.
I guess that the yoke is over.

Why isn’t Stevie one of the Seven Wonders of the World?

Wonder slow, Advice from Joe