The One Liners #211

Liquor stores are still accepting checks for purchases,
however, now they’re asking for two forms of false IDs.

Definition of a Housing “Short Sale”:
You loose your shorts.

Amy Winehouse was admitted to the hospital earlier in the week.
This corrects a previous report that Amy Hospital had been admitted to the Winehouse.

General Motors announced a fire sale today,
but how many people need a fire truck?

Problems with the English Stock Market as the British Pound is loosing weight.

A truck driver told me that he sometimes has to go in the same direction for over 4 hours. I said, “You should see your doctor about that.”

Legendary Babyface has been signed to play the lead in the remake of “Doogie Houser”.
In this one, he’s not only a child doctor, he sings.

I promised my wife that I was going to turn over a new leaf.
She told me that the rake was in the garage.

To improve security for President Bush’s return,
the Ranch is being renamed, “Compound W”.

Harrison Ford, Chevy Chase and Dodge City are all asking for bailouts.

Bail them slow, Advice from Joe