The One Liners #213

I admire reporters who would rather go to jail than reveal their sources.
Especially if I’m their source.

I say that they should merge “The Big Three” into one company called American Motors.
…On second thought, let me work on that name some more…

I’m glad that cell phones didn’t exist back in Neil Armstrong’s day.
“One small step for man…” (ring ring)
“Just a second, Hello? Listen, I’m just about to step on the moon. Can I call you back? Okay, bye. Now where was I? Oh yeah… One giant leap for mankind.”

I interviewed for a job as a silent auctioneer, but I couldn’t hear the interviewer.

My eyes are really going. I saw an old friend of mine, so I said, “Smitty, you old dog!”
Then I realized that it actually was his old dog.

Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott retired after many years of dedicated service.
Scott was know for his daily announcements, “Attention shoppers, we have a special today in house wears …..”

Apple’s iPhone 2.2 hit the streets today and broke just as fast as all of the others.
“We may never be able to build one that can hit the street,” said Steve Jobs.

When The Queen was checking into a Hotel, the desk clerk asked,
“Would you like a King with that?”
She replied, “Yes, but what will I do with Prince Phillip?”

Take it bloody slow, Advice from Joe