The One Liners #220

I saw used copies of the Bible on Amazon.com with the tag line,
“Only driven to church on Sundays”.

If everybody looses their jobs,
the tax cuts will be permanent.

I refuse to take Viraga.
I won’t put up with it.

I take medicine for the pain in my side,
primarily for the side affects.

The doctor said, “You don’t get up enough. Is there any other way to say it?”
I suggested, “I under stand”?

As part of Michael Vicks sentence, he’ll be required to deliver mail.

If the government buys Allstate Insurance,
President Bush can leave office by confidently saying, “You’re in good hands”.

After seeing my comedy act, the government accused me of being a suicide bomber.

An attorney advertises that he can help, even if you haven’t paid taxes in years.
Apparently, he’ll carry your bags into the cell for you.

Carry them slow, Advice from Joe