The One Liners #221

If unemployment gets any worse, Steve may loose his Jobs.

The judge threw the book at OJ, and he caught it for a ten yard gain.

HP’s top executive announced his retirement, saying that he’s out of toner.

I started carrying an identification card at a young age because my mother was always yelling, “Who do you think you are?”

I was real popular in grade school.
Everybody wanted to beat me up.

When the employer found out that one of his employees died, he said,
“So, Smith is late again, huh?”

I got myself a student loan.
Currently, he’s mowing the back yard.

When I first started school, I was making straight A’s.
Then they taught me how to make all those other letters.

I used to live on Memory Lane,
until they repossessed my memories.

When President Bush was asked about his swan song, he said,
“Look, it’s bad enough already. Don’t ask me to sing!”

Sing it slow, Advice from Joe