The One Liners #231

There’s a chance that your steak is cooked a little too rare
if it walks out to your table.

Even in these tough times, I found a white-collar job.
They wear white shirts at that hamburger joynt.

A new malaria vaccine has been created.
Now the challenge is trying to give shots to all those mosquitoes.

If Ford stops making Mercury,
can we eat fish again?

I saw a milk carton that said, “Have you seen me?” beside a picture of my hair.

To improve my brain, I stopped using Scott’s Anti Gray Matter.

Whenever John Muir wanted some action,
his wife told him to go take a hike.

The cop asked me if I knew why I was being pulled over.
I said, “If I did, I wouldn’t have pulled over.”

How to you fumigate a tent?

I priced Rolex watches and found out that I couldn’t afford to tell time.

The industry reported that the sales of mattresses are flat.

Lay down slow, Advice from Joe