The One Liners #235

My boss wasn’t actually telling me that I could work from home.
He was telling me that I couldn’t work there anymore.

I like exercising in the snow.
I call it, Frozen Yoga.

The Dow hit a high of 63.5 today.
Tony Dow confirmed that he is 63 and a half years old now.

If you don’t want to get your butt kicked,
turn and face the guy when you fight him.

Solving a speech problem that he’s suffered since he was a child,
now Michael Jackson can say goodbye.

They told me to always keep a roof over my head.
It’s good thing that I didn’t buy a convertible.

I hooked my clothesline up to the Internet.
Now, my clothes are on line.

When my wife left, I didn’t mind that she took all the locks and all the stocks,
but why did she have to take all the barrels?

My friend was being so naïve that I finally said, “Stop making a nativity scene”

The church wants to remind you that Midnight Mass
will start at 12:00 o'clock, 11:00 o'clock Central.

Go in peace slow, Advice from Joe