The One Liners #239

Caroline Kennedy says that she wants Hillary’s seat,
saying, “It’s right by the window”.

The makers of light cigarettes defended their product today, saying,
“If you suck real hard on them, you can see in a darkened room”.

The doctor told me to undergo an Echocardiogram.
I said, “Echocardiogram?”
He said, “Is there an Echocardiogram in here?”

There was a layoff in the cleaning appliance industry today
as Dyson vacuumed up 57 jobs.

After I set up two different identities on a social networking site,
I was accused of being two Facebooked

To make budget cutbacks at the hospital,
they are going to gut tummy tucks.

A guy asked me, “What do you think of No Trespassing zones?”
I said, “Let’s not even go there”

A doctor told me that his specialty was breast enhancements.
I said, “That’s quite a skill set”

The farming industry reported that the sales of watermelons have dropped,
ever since I stopped doing my act.

Never Entertain slow, Advice from Joe